I'm coming up on an anniversary of sorts - July 14 marks the sixth month anniversary of the first day of my artificial retirement. I have many mixed emotions around this "event" - what anniversary doesn't conjure up memories, both good and bad?
I've decided to write about some niggling thoughts that have troubled me over the past six months, believing perhaps that writing them down is a way to excise the demons. But how to do that without sounding whiny or victimy, even though that may be exactly how I feel? All I can do is attempt to write my truth and float some questions and ideas out there in the hope that my comments will make people think and question.
You'd have to live in a cave to not realize these are horrible economic times, full of fear, rumor and awful reality. Many hard-working (those who still have jobs, anyway), dedicated people report to work every day with a big question mark hanging over their heads ... will today be the day my job is cut? Talk about fear of the unknown...it's like driving a car down a twisting mountain road at night without an emergency brake. In short, it's terrifying.
Given the current scenario, I believe with all my heart that now, more than ever, we must insist on inspired leadership - not just in the reaches of higher government, but in our work lives as well. It is precisely during this unsettled time that those in charge must connect with the better angels of their nature.
Certainly it is no picnic being the leader of a company today - large or small. I certainly empathize with business leaders who face demands I can't even fathom, stress with no end, questions with no answers. (Like, why am I putting myself and my family through this hell, sacrificing my life, sapping my energy and, at times, compromising my integrity??)
So here's my first question: Why are there so few examples of empathic, inspired leaders in corporate America who are kind and supportive, particularly when delivering painfully difficult news?
It's never easy to tell someone they no longer have a job. I know. I had to deliver that news to more than a few people and still believe it was the most difficult aspect of my career. I also knew that if those encounters ever became easy, if I no longer felt gut-wrenching empathy for the human being across from me then I needed to find another line of work and fast. My goal was to ensure that the person on the receiving end of the conversation left our encounter with dignity and the knowledge that their contributions were valued. Sometimes I had to reach pretty deep to find a way to convey that message, and often the person was too emotional to really hear the information, but I have to believe that at some level they understood.
Unfortunately my own experience on the receiving end of such a conversation was very different, which leads me to my next question: Why is it so difficult for some leaders to show empathy for others?
According to Martha Stout (The Sociopath Next Door), 4 percent of the population has an undiagnosed personality disorder that combines a narcissistic obsession for self entitlement with a lack of capacity for empathy. What happens when a member of that minority attains a position of social, corporate, political or religious power?
Question number 3: Are people born without a capacity for empathy, or are some moved to develop that behavior because such behavior is rewarded by the culture? Or both?
At some point coldness has replaced kindness in much of corporate America. Why? Research shows that during difficult economic times, soft skills (right-brain stuff such as empathy and trust-building) are required to meet the challenges of change and can, in fact, bolster a company's bottom line by creating a healthier workplace environment. Take a look at these two sites if you need convincing:
http://www.ccl.org/leadership/pdf/research/NatureLeadership.pdf
(If you can't open the above link, manually enter into your search field.)
http://www.ccl.org/leadership/pdf/research/cclCreative.pdf
Ultimately, I believe that people in the trenches are the heart and soul of any business and when people - all people - feel valued, trusted and empowered by the leaders of an organization, the organization will flourish. Without such leadership, the organization is doomed to fail or stagnate in the face of crushingly low morale and diminishing returns.
Thankfully, there are successes out there. You can search the internet for stories about creative ways in which leaders have faced the economic downturn head-on, by taking sizable salary cuts in order to save jobs for low salaried employees, for example. Imagine that! This indeed gives me hope for the future of inspired leadership.
The lesson I'm taking away from my own painful experience is that there is integrity in empathy, and dialog builds trust; that there will always be leaders with sociopathic and narcissistic tendencies; and that I am ultimately responsible for how I operate in the world.
Being human is a good and messy business.
Good reads:
"The World's Most Powerful Leadership Principle - How to Become a Servant Leader" by James C. Hunter
"The Pursuit of WOW!" by Tom Peters
Next post: Ultimate Brownie Recipe
Il Dolce Far Niente
The sweetness of doing nothing, il dolce far niente, is a wonderful Italian expression that perfectly captures the exquisite gift of living in, and fully appreciating, the moment.
Like most Americans, the ability to live in the moment was for me an abstract idea. Proud of my ability to multitask circles around most people, of my job as director of two hospital departments, of never sitting still for a moment, the concept of "the sweet do-nothing" was at once incredibly appealing and completely foreign.
The concept was foreign, that is, until January 2009 when life intervened and I was abruptly "reorganized" out of my job at the hospital where I worked for almost 20 years.So now, at age 60, here I am living an enforced life of "il dolce far niente." I find myself in the enviable position of having a lot of time on my hands and (initially at least) no idea what to do with it. Although I focus a part of each day doggedly searching for a new job, most of my calendar is so empty it echoes.
But to my surprise, rather than feeling adrift in days without schedules, meetings and agendas, I now know that there is such a richness, such a gift in enjoying each day on its own merit. Rather than controlling my time, I'm learning to allow it to unfold and am almost always pleased with what life presents me.
In this blog, I want to share that richness as I discover the beauty of simple things - while still coming to terms with being unemployed for the first time in my life in an economy that's tanking and where jobs are few and far between. What I hope will evolve through this blog (for you as well as for me) is a true appreciation for another way of living. We'll just have to see how it goes.
Like most Americans, the ability to live in the moment was for me an abstract idea. Proud of my ability to multitask circles around most people, of my job as director of two hospital departments, of never sitting still for a moment, the concept of "the sweet do-nothing" was at once incredibly appealing and completely foreign.
The concept was foreign, that is, until January 2009 when life intervened and I was abruptly "reorganized" out of my job at the hospital where I worked for almost 20 years.So now, at age 60, here I am living an enforced life of "il dolce far niente." I find myself in the enviable position of having a lot of time on my hands and (initially at least) no idea what to do with it. Although I focus a part of each day doggedly searching for a new job, most of my calendar is so empty it echoes.
But to my surprise, rather than feeling adrift in days without schedules, meetings and agendas, I now know that there is such a richness, such a gift in enjoying each day on its own merit. Rather than controlling my time, I'm learning to allow it to unfold and am almost always pleased with what life presents me.
In this blog, I want to share that richness as I discover the beauty of simple things - while still coming to terms with being unemployed for the first time in my life in an economy that's tanking and where jobs are few and far between. What I hope will evolve through this blog (for you as well as for me) is a true appreciation for another way of living. We'll just have to see how it goes.
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1 comment:
Yes. Well said Denise.
The wrong-headed idea that by using fear and intimidation as a management style to motivate employees over the long term has permeated our corporations both large and small. The conventional wisdom has been that it is much more time-consuming, "messy" and less cost-effective to manage by inspiration and empowerment. Especially when you consider that the average CEO will only hold his/her job for an average of 24 months and their performance will be judged solely on quarterly profits. With these upside down, myopic priorities who has the time or inclination to actually motivate and inspire their employees let alone consider the long-term effects their decisions might have?
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